The Seven Sins of Vegas

Las Vegas is like country music, Vegemite or Celine Dion’s voice; you either love it or loathe it. Some people love it so much that they can’t remember a thing when they wake up the next morning; others simply wish they could forget the shenanigans ever happened.

Funny, people always say, “Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” Lies. I haven’t met one person who has come back from this city and doesn’t have a story or two to tell. I’m sure those of you who have been to Vegas would agree with me.

Las Vegas is notorious for certain offerings that have earned it the title “Sin City”. Here are the seven sins you can experience in Las Vegas without having to feel guilty. Well, maybe just a little…

Lust

Get your mind out of the gutter and don’t even go there! If you have anything like the intense desire for chocolate I have, the Jean Philippe Patisserie in Bellagio will indulge you in the most decadent chocolates and desserts on the Strip. Lust over the world’s largest and first-of-its-kind cascading Chocolate Fountain, certified by the Guinness World Records.

For love birds, if you have that sudden urge to tie the knot, there are plenty of wedding chapels to get hitched in. Since it’s going to be a once in a lifetime experience, you may as well get married by the “KING” himself at the Elvis Chapel. No family and friends there to support you? No worries. You can broadcast the wedding on Internet so they can watch you walking down the aisle live from the comfort of home.

No dress or tux for the wedding? No problem. At the Las Vegas Premium Outlets you can shop an impressive collection of high-end fashion labels at low cost prices. Who’s the devil that wears Prada now?

Wrath

There’s simply no better anger management therapy than strapping yourself in for a few heart-pounding thrill rides in Vegas. It might not be the fastest or the wildest, but the roller coaster at New York-New York hotel will still have you screaming your lungs out for a few good minutes. For the real adrenalin junkies, get your fix at Stratosphere Tower. On top of the tallest structure in Las Vegas, not only will you see a 360-degree bird’s-eye view of the whole city, but you can test your mettle by jumping off the tower and plummeting through the sky for 855 feet, the equivalent of 108 floors. Well, taking out the travel insurance before the trip isn’t such a silly idea now, is it?

Gluttony

You are in America, eating healthy is optional. Let’s start with a hamburger at Heart Attack Grill, famous for all the wrong reasons. Patrons are welcome to jump on the giant scale right outside the restaurant for an immediate weigh in; not judging but anyone over 350lbs (158.8kg) gets to eat free because they seriously want to fatten you up. The smallest burger on the menu comes with one single beef patty with the option to add extra bacon (5 strips in total) for only US$0.92 (about AU$1). Go nuts and order the largest heart-clogging monstrosity, a whopping 8 patties and 40 bacon slices! However, there is a price to pay if you can’t finish the burger. One of the wait staff (in a sexy nurse outfit) will spank your bottom with a wooden board. It’s not something you’d want everyone to see but the footage is broadcast on the restaurant’s website. And did I mention travel insurance? Just in case.

Pride

Take the time to swap the Strip for some serenity. A must-do is a visit to the Grand Canyon. The best way to admire the almighty Grand Canyon has to be from above, flying through in a helicopter. At some points the helicopter gets so close to the cliff face it feels like you can almost touch it. Also make sure the tour includes the Grand Canyon Skywalk, a transparent horseshoe-shaped cantilever bridge with a 6-inch-thick glass floor hanging 4000ft above the canyon floor. It will send shivers down your spine.

Greed

The buffet in Vegas is an extreme sport. If you only have the stomach for one buffet, then let it be at the Wynn Las Vegas. The weekend brunch buffet will cost you US$32 ($34.10), and be prepared for serious gluttonous debauchery. The buffet room is as big as a football field, with 15 live-action cooking stations featuring cuisines from all around the world. If you’re not greedy enough to try all the food, then you are doing it wrong. Again, travel insurance, remember?

A visit to Vegas isn’t complete without experiencing at least one of the seven Cirque du Soleil shows. The aquatic masterpiece ‘O’ at Bellagio is one of the best and can only be seen in Vegas; but Beatles fans simply can’t miss out on the LOVE show at The Mirage, where you get to sing along to plenty of classics.

Envy

If you’re ready to splurge and make all your friends green with envy, book yourself into one of the city’s fine dining restaurants. The L’Atelier de Joel Robuchon at MGM is my first pick. This one-star Michelin restaurant features exquisite French cuisine with unique counter service where your dinner is prepared right before your eyes. Other fine dining restaurants worth checking out including Nobu (Caesars Palace), Craftsteak (MGM Grand), Le Cirque (Bellagio) and Guy Savoy (Caesars Palace).

To really get a sense of what Vegas used to be like 50 years ago, head to the Fremont Street Experience in downtown Las Vegas. The iconic neon signs are dazzling, but it’s the overhead LED display “canopy” running along the promenade that steals the show. The canopy extends the length of more than five football fields, with over 12.5 millions LED modules synched to concert-quality sound system. This is the home cinema you’ve been dreaming of.

Sloth

Eventually everything has to come to an end. The non-stop partying has finally taken its toll and I bet all you can think of now is a comfy bed. Finding a hotel in Vegas is a daunting task because there are just way too many of them along the Strip. If you want to experience Vegas like part of the Rat Pack then the Bellagio resort is definitely the way to go. Despite its old age (built in 1998), Bellagio never stops to impress with its outdoor musical fountain and the stunning 18-foot Chihuly hand-blown glass blossom sculpture ceiling. For the younger demographic, The Cosmopolitan is the newest addition on the Strip and right next door to Bellagio. It’s a great spot for celebrity spotting – head to Marquee, the most popular nightclub on the Strip.

Just when you thought it was all over, you’ll find the tragic selfies (god knows how these photos ended up on your Facebook!). It’s too late to take them down because you’ve just confessed all your sins – but with this guide, you can do all seven sins and still have nothing too much to worry about.

Check out A Table for Two for more stories from the road.